Hmmm.

I'm not in love with my bf anymore.

How do you break up with someone who's really really really sensitive? Someone who'll beg you to come back and even make you feel guilty for even thinking of leaving them, in hopes to pull you back?

That's my bf.


I wish we could be rational about this instead of you sobbing all the time, and me trying to console and understand what the hell you're trying to say.

Help me.

I'm suffocating.

Update

I kind of said that I was going to post tmrw but I'm not sleepy yet so I guess I should make use of the time :).

I think I wrote something about this guy that Iliked and was talking to, right? Well we stopped talking for some reason - not in a bad way...just conversation just stopped I guess. I started talking to another guy but then he was still trying to get over his ex so we didn't get anywhere. And now I'm happily in a relationship with my bf hehe ^^ last week was our 6 months.


Life is good. I was at a party yesterday and drank a little too much and ended up leaving with a major headache, stomach ache, bruises, and cuts in my mouth = =. I was kind of wondering why I had cuts in my mouth when my bf (who was at the party with me) told me that I shattered a glass of water with my teeth because I was biting it, instead of drinking the water. Yuck. I have a habit of chewing and biting on things, but I didn't even know that was going to happen... Also the fact that I don't remember what happened after a certain point that day makes me feel embarrassed for anything else I might have done.

I'm having problems with an eating problem that's resurfaced since about a year ago. I'll write about that another day.

Anywho that's all for now.

Nite :)

WOAH

I kind of stopped using Blogger for a while...Hmm I think I'll have another go at it :). I feel really bad for not posting here because people commented on my previous post which was in november-december =o=...so If any of you are reading this I am very sorry hehe ^^;

I think I will post tmrw morning.

Reading at my other posts I feel like a lot has changed..kinda ^^

I bought a ring

Is what the text I got this morning said. To be exact it said "I bought a ring --Donny" and this was 7:30 in the morning so it kind of pissed me off hahahahaaha. I'm not going to try and find some other wordly meaning from this text - I get this random spam texts on occasion, so no biggy.

I finally shaved this morning after being lazy for a couple days, and I must say, it's nice and smooth ^^. I need to cut my hair...it's been a month and I'm starting to get tired of this hair style :/.

I've recently been looking up at a lot of coming out videos on youtube. I've already come out to all my close friends that I talk to and hang out with, and am at the point where I wouldn't mind telling someone that I was gay if they asked; just not going to blurt it out for the whole world to hear-that's unnecessary. My parents, however, don't know that I'm gay. My parents recently divorced and I'm with my mom and little brother. I know for a fact that if I told my mom, she would start yelling and eventually kick me out of the house. I thought my dad was scary, but as I got older I noticed that my dad was mellow compared to how angry my mom could get. I'm going to stick with my plan and tell them when I move out to my own place. And to be honest, I don't really feel like they have to know anyways, but that's probably because we're such a disfunctional family and I can't really talk to my parents about how I'm feeling or what's been bothering me. Oh well.

That's all for now, I guess. Time for some lunch! Om nom nom nom nom nom~:P

Let's try that again

I started blogging here, but then I completely forgot that I had a blog ^^;. So let's start off fresh :)

School's getting pretty boring. I'm beginning to think that the faculty I'm in just isn't the one for me. Not quite sure what I want to do with my life yet lol...I'm so hopeless~

I've been talking to this guy from online since the beginning of October. Hmmm since I don't want to give out his name, I guess I'll call him...D :). He just arrived to Canada from his vacation and I have to say that I'm kind of excited. I mean, we've talked on msn, talked on skype, texts, webcam, etc. So it's not like I don't know what he looks like...it's just that I've never met him in person. We're planning on spending some time together this week, plus for 5 days he's going to be home alone (because his parents went with him). He said that he wants me to come over. I have the feeling we're just going to chill and hangout (I have the feeling that he's still going to be tired from jetlag lol). Does that count as a date?

I've never been in a relationship with another guy before. I've never been in a relationship period. I was the fat wall flower in high school. I was bullied for a number of years, had low self-esteem, suicidal, the works. Only after making some pretty shitty mistakes, learning from them, and dropping a shit load of weight has it helped me to forgive and forget; and most importantly, to stop living in the past. I swear I am the king of run-on sentences, so I apologize ^^. I'll leave it at that lol it can have it's own post later when I feel like it hahaha.

But yeah, it kind of gets me nervous just thinking about it hahaha. I guess because it's kind of like the first time that someone I liked actually liked me back, you know? Now I'm remembering all those girls I crushed on hahahahaha omg. I hope things turn out good between D and I ^^ *fingers crossed* hahahahahahaha :P

There's supposed to be a meteor shower tonight and I'm waiting :). I told D and he told me that I wasn't going to be able to see it because it rains a lot here and it's pretty foggy since I live up on SFU res (on a mountain). But then I told him that I was still going to stay up and wait hehehe...:P I've never seen a meteor shower before so I'm pretty excited to see one!!

He probably thinks I'm a dumbass hahahahahaha.

"I want your drama, the touch of your hand. I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand" <3

I can't get enough of Lady GaGa's Bad Romance :P